Online LGBTQ+, Queer Identified, and Affirming Therapy

I get you.

You came here looking for help. You recognize that the variety of therapy options can be perplexing, and you want someone who understands you and your needs.

  • Confused about your identity – I got you.
  • Coming out to self, partner, or other – no problem.
  • Exploring gender identity and expression – I’ve been there.
  • Navigating your sexual and affectional orientation – it is safe to do so.
  • Identifying and managing depression, anxiety, or gender dysphoria – it’s all good.
  • Struggling with internal feelings of being wrong, bad, defective – you matter.
  • Exploring the community and finding your tribe – it’s possible.

If you identify as lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender, queer, intersex, or another sexual or
gender minority, you are welcome here.

Having concerns? Let’s talk it out!

Let’s talk if your relationship is in trouble, your workload is too much, or you need a space to process everything you are going through.

Client Example – Identity Distress

Duncan, who prefers to be known as DC (pronouns, they, them), is a 28-year-old professional single cismale living in West Hollywood. During therapy, DC explores the complexity of their shifting identity. They struggle with the repressed feelings of not identifying with their gender at birth and have been aligning more with a non-binary, androgynous-presenting, butch-leaning queer identity.

The therapist builds rapport with DC and acknowledges their identity and concerns. Anxious, they express concern about how to share this discovery with their partner. During sessions, fears and worries are addressed; they devise a plan to arrange the conversation.

Kink Play

Kinkiness is considered non-traditional sexual behavior, notions, or desires in relationships and is becoming more common. While intriguing, embracing kink, fetishes, power dynamics, and BDSM (bondage/discipline, dominance/submission, and sadism/masochism) into your intimate relationships can raise new challenges.

Having a therapist where you can discuss your sexual curiosities, expanding desires, and new experiences without the stigma or having your lifestyle or choices pathologized is essential.

You need a place to explore your thoughts and concerns, whether you’re curious, dabbling, or experienced. The erotic thoughts and images you have make you feel secretive, uncomfortable, or confused.

You’re unsure how you feel when your partner introduces new toys and paraphernalia into your intimacy.

Submission, dominance, and switching are interesting and confusing to you.

You want to explore your history of trauma and how that impacts you and your choice of partners.

You experience depression, shame, or anxiety about experiences, especially when you inadvertently cross a partner’s boundary.

Client Example – Abuse or Dominance?

Ryan, a submissive 32-year-old gay male living in the Castro district of San Francisco, hustles a leather Daddy on Grinder for play. He enters therapy to understand better what happened that afternoon.

Arriving with anticipation to play at Daddy’s smokey dungeon, he’s immediately tied up, gagged, and hooded. Excited and frightened, play begins. Insecure, he lets Daddy take control even though he isn’t sure if he feels safe. Two hours later, crying, confused, and dazed, he’s freed.

The therapist sympathizes with his experience and explores the client’s understanding of safe, sane, and consensual practices in the leather and BDSM communities and provides some psychoeducation on what is abuse and what is dominance.

Alternative and Non-Monogamous Relationships

Alternate relationships include open, poly, arranged, swinging, friends with benefits, nonsexual romantic, consensual nonmonogamy, and anything outside the monogamous norm.

Like any relationship, there may be concerns. Issues include jealousy, time constraints, disclosures, communications, safety, and security concerns.

  • Your partner is bored and wants to try swinging – you have mixed feelings about how that will impact the relationship.
  • Being poly is all the rage, and you wonder if you should try it.
  • Your monogamous parents were married for 50 years, and you struggle with your partner’s need to open the relationship.
  • When enjoying your secondary partners, your primary partner becomes avoidant, controlling, and defensive.
  • You struggle with prioritizing you and your partner and his many lovers.
  • You get jealous when your partner spends a lot of time with his lover.

Client Example – Couples in Conflict

Jake and Adam are a successful late-30s couple living in San Francisco seeking couples therapy resulting from trust concerns. During therapy, it’s discovered that agreements haven’t been discussed, and assumptions persist.

Skilled in addressing conversations about open, poly, and alternative relationships, the therapist supports an open dialogue to address concerns about safety and security.

As therapy progresses, Jake insists his thoughts are considered and agreements respected when Adam plays with others. In time, Adam agrees to safe, sane, and consensual sex with others, alleviating Jake’s concerns. They agree to experiment with consensual non-monogamy.

It’s all good.

Whether you have concerns about your relationships, sexuality, identity, or gender, I’ll lend an ear and be an advocate. We’ll go at the pace you feel most comfortable.

You can trust sensitive matters will be held in confidence.

I know it can be challenging to find a therapist who feels right for you – one who “gets you” and with whom you have a connection.

To put you at ease, there isn’t much I haven’t experienced myself – or heard. I’ll bring my education, knowledge, and credentials; you can relax, be yourself, and tell me your story.

I offer a free consultation. You are just a phone call away.

Call me today!